Wonderful Christmas Gift! - Sisters!

This year I received one of the best Christmas presents ever!

I have three sisters and a few years ago we started trying to have a "sisters' day out" once a year. It has been hard for all of us to be there, but at the same time, it has brought us even closer together. Even though we all have hectic, dizzy lives going on, we have grounded ourselves and our hearts together as only sisters can.

Well, the youngest of us, Susan- sent us out these little memory books this year! How fun and how heart warming to open this up and look back at us growing up!

I can tell you, I have looked through it many many times now- and each time my heart just swells. I have even shed a few tears of gentle remembering and love. So, to all you who may visit my blog--- meet my sisters! (In a future blog I'll post current pics- gotta get some taken!)

Brenda-

Liana

Susan

And- little ol' me :)

I wish I could copy every page- but that would be a little impractical-yes? Anyway- I just love my sisters and I thank God every day for them and the love and friendship we have shared growing up and all through our lives- And THANK YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL GIFT SIS!

Merry Christmas to all who may visit here and God Bless! With Love- Roxanne

For These Things I Give Thanks

A Heavenly Father and

Savior who knows me and loves me.

The testimony of truth and right that

gives me strength in the best of times

and in the darkest times.

The prophet and the gospel- that guides me every day.

The wonderful, kind husband who loves me unconditionally.

The awesome opportunity and blessing of being a mother and grandma.

The parents that raised me and taught me to be kind, non-judgemental, and above all accepting of all people- preparing me to raise a daughter with a disability.

The sisters and brothers who grew up with me and lived through all kinds of life's trials and triumphs!

All the people, experiences, moments, and choices that have shaped my life and brought me to this moment and this place.

I give my thanks to my Father and to all who have touched or shaped my life in any way.

Happy Thanksgiving and may God Bless you all!

Sweetheart Tag! How Fun! <3 <3

Me & My

Sweetheart Jim

March 23, 2002

(Amanda's wedding)

So- Heather

tagged me! & here goes!

Each person tagged gets to answer questions about their sweetheart! Then at the end of the post, they tag 6 others and post their names, then goes to their blogs to let them know they've been tagged. (I don't think I can come up with 6 others, but I'll try)

1- What is your husband's name? Jimmy Lee Witt

2- How long have you guys been married? 7 years, 3 months :)

3- How long did you date? Hmmm- funny story- we "met" on LDS Singles On-Line- sent e-mails back and forth for a couple months, then met face to face. We then dated for 3 months, got engaged and were married 3 months after that..... so altogether, a little under a year.

4- How old is he? Verrrrrrrrry Old (hee hee) 58

5- Who is taller? He is- by about 5 inches.

6- Who can sing best? Definitely me! Although he really loves music!

7- Who is smarter? Definitely he is! He could do sooooooooooooo good on Jeapordy! He is a walking trivia/detail/history/information buff!

8- Who does laundry? We both do our own clothes, but I do the rest.

9- Who pays the bills? I do.

10- Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Is there a wrong side? hee hee- I do.

11- Who mows the lawn? He used to- now we either get the neighbor boy or the scouts come and do it because of his being disabled.

12- Who cooks dinner? I cook or we will each heat up a microwave meal of our own choice.

13- Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Neither - just kidding- we are both pretty strong minded and opinionated, but we are both tolerant of each other's views and we both very easily apologize or admit to being wrong- so, it's a toss up!

14- Who kissed who first? He did - of course!

15- Who wears the pants? I love Heather's answer! "I have one leg in and so does he- we make a good team" He is the priesthood holder and leader in our home- but we work as a team!

Thanks Heather Feather for the tag! I love playing along! Now- let's see, I tag Dani, Jennifer, Tringle, Jenny----- can't think of anyone else! So- go! It's your turn!

Quick, funny story about one of the grandkids :)

Meet Haedon! He is 2 yrs old (will be 3 in December)

A couple of weeks ago Donnie (Haedon's dad), Heather and I went to Bear Lake to sing in my parents' ward. They were speaking about preparing and getting to the temple. Heather's kids all stayed home with their dad and Haedon's brothers stayed with Katie cause they had to practice for their Primary program - so Haedon was feeling pretty big and having a ball with us.
My sister, Susan, and her hubby were there and my aunt and uncle and we all had dinner at Granny & Grampa Toomer's after church.
Haedon was busily, happily visiting and entertaining all the adults as only a 2 yr. old can. He was sooooooooooo funny! My sister tried to explain to him that I was her sister and he kept indignantly declaring _ "No! - dat's my Dramma!" Of course she couldn't resist and then tried to tell him that Grampa Toomer was her daddy and my daddy- at which he again indignantly insisted _ "No!- he's Drampa!" It was hilarious- the more she tried to explain family relationships to him (that she was his daddy's aunt, etc.) the more indignant and insistent he became. He has such an expressive face and voice- we were all in stitches.

Then, when I told him I wanted to take his picture with Grampa Toomer he jumped up in Grampa's lap. After the picture he jumped down and came to look at the camera- then ran and jumped back in Grampa's lap saying "again!" for another picture- 5 times! It was great fun for all of us.

'Course I just have to tell about his declaration during the prayer in Sacrament Meeting.... he was kind of kicking the bench in front of us and I grabbed his feet- then Donnie picked him up and sat him on his lap. At this point Haedon declared loudly- "I'm Gonna poop on you"- (hee hee) I had taken him potty before the meeting but he didn't do anything, so Donnie "subtly" took him out and took him to the potty where he took care of business!

Everyone should have a "Haedon" in their life! We are so blessed! All 26 of our grandkids are uniquely wonderful and I can't imagine life without them! Sooooo- as time goes by I will be sharing many, many fun memories about these delightful little people and hopefully those of you who read my blog will be entertained, inspired, and moved!

Posted with love and gratitude, Roxanne

Memory Tag

Well- once again I'm following in my daughter's footsteps! I don't know if many people actually read my blog- but since I left a memory on her blog and on Michelle's, well- maybe someone will share with me- so here's how it works---

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a lot or a little, anything you remember.

2. Next, repost these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to read some of the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you are playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you.

So, there you have it- hope to hear from some of you! God Bless!

Sometimes Ya Just Want Your Gramma!

A few weeks ago Heather and Mike took their kids for a fun road trip to Yellowstone Park. According to Heather, the kids were all excited- road trips are one of their favorite family activities. Well - - as they were driving, Mikey started asking if they could go to Gramma Roxanne's house too. Mike told him "No, not this trip".. then I guess Mailei and Maddy started asking (Ya think they love their Gramma?). And again, their dad told them "No, not this trip", explaining they weren't even going in the right direction... Anyway- the kids were enjoying the trip, the scenery, and all, but they just kept asking to go to Gramma's and mom and dad were getting a little annoyed... (hee hee)- but eventually they all got engrossed in different things (fickle little tykes!) and Mikey sorta dozed off or something. Then he suddenly sat up and said, "HEY! I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO GRAMMA ROXANNE'S!" (Ta-da!- not so fickle after all) - At this point I guess Mike lost a little of his patience and "suggested" that he could stop the car and let Mikey WALK to Gramma's. Heather said it got very quiet for a little while and they figured Mikey had finally given up. Then a paper airplane suddenly (quietly) comes flying up to the front of their van..... she opened it up and found this picture! Mikey had drawn himself with tears running down his face (actually, all down his body and to the ground) and a little "thought" balloon showing his Gramma's face with tears running down! Just had to let Mom and Dad know that they were really making him and his Gramma very sad! So, needless to say, the next time I went to visit I just had to steal the picture- it is just too precious for words! And right about now this Gramma is feeling all warm and fuzzy and very, very loved!

(And of course this is one of those life moments you just "hafta share"!)

7 RaNdOm ThInGs AbOuT mE!

Okay- Heather tagged me- so here goes! (and here are the rules)

1-Link to the person who tagged you and post these rules on your own post.

2-Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog- some random- some weird.

3-Tag 7 people at the end of your post-leaving their names as well as links to their blogs. (I may have trouble with this one- most of the blogs I'm following have already been tagged)

4-Comment to the people you tagged and let them know they've been tagged.

Ready- set- GO!

1- I watched American Tale with some of my grandkids last weekend and yes, I cried when Fievel finally found his family!

2- As I was growing up I always promised myself I would never be divorced- never marry more than once- and blah, blah, blah! Well, I'm on my third marriage (that's right #3)- My first marriage ended in divorce (not my choice). My second husband was absolutely wonderful and we had a love that was unbelievable! He is my eternal partner & soulmate. Then he died in a car wreck just 4 months after we married. My present husband is also a wonderful man- we share a beautiful life together with wonderful kids, grandkids, and other family. He too is my soulmate- my kindred spirit. Along with our love for each other, we share a deep love for the gospel and are blessed with sweet, strong testimonies. I have truly been blessed to have these two wonderful men come into my life and love me and love my children. When I sometimes feel like life has picked on me, I just have to look into my sweet hubby's face and see and feel his love and know that ultimately- all will be well!

3- I have 4 biological children, 6 non-biological (step) children, (6 other step-children from my second husband), 8 "in-law" kids (my kids' spouses), 26 grandkids, 3 sisters & 3 brothers, both my parents & Jim's mom still living, my 99 yr-old gramma still living. Plus tons of other family!

4- I have several nick names, but my current favorite is "WSML" (pronounced "wu-su-mul"). It stands for "Wicked-Step-Mother-In-Law" hee hee! It's been a fun little joke between me and one of our daughters-in-law.

5- I went to Europe twice with the Camerata Singers from Pocatello! It was fabulous! We sang in many old, old churches, cathedrals, etc. On our first trip we even sang at the Vatican during "High Mass"- it was awesome.

6- I was recently called to be the "Literacy Specialist" for Relief Society and am looking forward to learning and exploring this new calling and sharing some fun experiences with the sisters in my ward.

7- My favorite types of music are Celtic, Opera, DeadraveN (that's Brady- some of his stuff is a little out there for me, but he is really, really good), Neil Diamond, John Denver, Taylor Hicks,- and well, lots of other stuff!


Now- who do I tag? I'll try these people- Jennifer Toone ; Jen Barlow ; Katie ; Tringle ; Bullocks ; Kurt ; Merediths SUPRISE!!! Now get going!

"Kickin" with the Witts!

This past weekend we had lots of fun! Josh, Tringle and their 5 kids came to stay! Saturday we all went to a Karate tournament in Meridian where Tringle, Kyriahna, Jolanna, Kaldon & Malaya competed. Kaldon & Malaya were in the "Tiny Tigers" so their routine was just to follow one of the officiators and they were judged on their form. It was sooooooooo cute! Then Kyriahna & Jolanna each had to do a memorized 'form' routine and they both had a sparring match. Kyriahna placed 4th in her division for her form routine and Jolanna placed 2nd in sparring. It was very interesting and fun for this gramma I tell you!

Kyriahna (9yrs old)- with her 4th place medal!
One happy little girl! She works hard and practices hard too!

Jolanna (almost 8) with her 2nd place medal!
Another hard working girl!

And then there's Tingle! Wow! She was supermom!She kept track of all the kids' gear and all their schedules! She didn't miss a single event for all 4 of the kids! For Kaldon and Malaya in Tiny Tigers it wasn't too difficult- we all got to watch them. They were at slightly different times and in the same room.

But when it came to Kyriahna & Jolanna- well, their competitions were basically at the same time in separate rooms. I caught Jolanna's form routine and her first sparring match and I saw Kyriahna's form routine and sparring match. However, Jolanna had a second sparring match that I missed- but not Tringle. She litereally flew from room to room, camera in hand, and not only caught their routines and sparring matches but made it in time to see both girls get their medals presented!

Then- after lunch I took the kids home and Tringle and Josh stayed for Tringle to compete. I believe this was her first time and she was so excited! But she got her heart broken!

They asked her if she wanted to spar and she said "sure"! (She's always up for a challenge) Then they matched her with a woman who had won several championships and was really "into" her Karate! I guess the first kick caught Tringle square in the chest and sent her flying across the ring and onto her bottom! Evidently this partner didn't understand that part of the sport is exercising "control" and the point is to NOT use full force. But- kudos for Tringle! She might be a beginner, but she scored 2 points on the "champ"! GO GIRL!


Tringle- all smiles "before" getting "beat up"!
(sorry-little joke there!)

Kaldon and Gramma- hangin' out!

OH WHAT JOY!

Owen Blake Toomer and Mary Joyce Lane
(my mom and dad)
Sealed for time and eternity Sept. 24, 2008
Logan, Utah temple
How do I describe what depths of joy we experienced last Wednesday? There are no words adequate- no articulation that can contain the singing in my heart. My mom- my daddy- made it to the temple! They were sealed for eternity and I am now sealed to them for eternity also!

They were accompanied by many ward members as well as myself (I was my mom's escort), my son Donnie (my dad's escort), and my daughter Heather and her hubby Mike (he was one of the witnesses). There were other family members - And- my Uncle George (my mom's brother) performed the sealing ceremony!
(As I said "Oh What Joy!")



I remember the first time I went to the temple- I didn't know the joy I felt then was just the beginning! I remember feeling the sweet assurance of the spirit that my parents would someday be sealed- but at that time I really thought it would only happen after they had passed!

What a journey we've all had! When I received that assurance my mom and dad weren't even married to each other- in fact my mom was married to someone else! Then, they remarried in 1980 (in my home!) to everyone's surprise. Who knew? Well- I guess the spirit had whispered these things to my spirit many years before, and this also fulfills one of the promises in my Patriarchal Blessing! These past 5-6 years watching them grow in the gospel- seeing Donnie ordain his Grandpa to be an elder- seeing my mom stretch and reach goals and overcome doubts that have plagued her for decades- being able to converse and actually "teach" my parents things I have longed to share with them- has taught me so much about the Lord and how He works and how He blesses us- always in His time and in His wisdom!

As a mom I have experienced the thrill and joy of seeing my two older children obtain their own temple blessings- I see them raising my grandbabies in homes filled with joy, light, and love! I see my younger son (Brady) on his own journey in life-finding what brings him joy and creating beautiful art and music all along the way. I see my baby, Brooke Anne-though she struggles in her mortality- her journey is bright and sure! I am truly blessed- and can only say again and again- "Oh What Joy!"

This experience has reminded me once again- that whenever we feel overwhelmed with sorrow or we feel life has dished out just too much for us to bear- Heavenly Father is always, always there and always mindful of us and if we do all we can to "hold to the rod", if we endure the trials we face seeking His love and guidance, all will be well- and we will know joy- not just momentary happiness and fun (and who doesn't love that?)- but the deep, abiding joy that fills our hearts and spirits even in our deepest times of trial.

As I said in the beginning- I really cannot find the words to adequately articulate all that I am feeling this week- know only that my heart and spirit are so full- my cup does indeed runneth over- and my prayers as always are with all! God Bless!

Pondering Life-

A few weeks ago our bishop challenged our ward to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year (by reading about 5 pages a day). I have found this time to be very interesting. I am finding new (or more) meanings in things I have read several times before- ways to apply the stories/lessons to my life now.

As I read the words of Nephi- feeling sad and chastising himself for his weaknesses- for falling into sin even with all his knowledge- I likened the words to myself and at first began to feel very frustrated and upset- then as I read further his words of recommitting himself to the work of the Lord and to living as he knew he should, I found myself making the same commitment-

I have also been reminded through this reading that "things" of the world are of such little importance in the eternal perspective. How easy it is to get caught up in wanting-getting-pursuing "things"- and forgetting that each day is a gift and that the most important things are the ones we love and love us!

I have gained more understanding of the prophet's words regarding the sanctity of family. Above all else- above all earthly pursuits and pleasures, is the duty we owe to maintain our families. I have felt weighed down through the years because of what I felt was my failure when my family fell apart- but I have been assured through the spirit that all is well- and to mind the stewardship I now have. What a blessing! Perhaps if I had not taken heed of the bishop's challenge these assurances wouldn't have come at this time.

I am so grateful for all our kids-grandkids-friends-family- we are so very blessed! Yes, we are facing some hard times right now- but only in a worldly sense- spiritually we are growing stronger and together we are standing firm.

In a few days I will have the awesome priveledge of seeing my parents go through the temple for the first time. They will be sealed to each other and I will be sealed to them. I can't begin to put into words the tremendous, overwhelming joy I am feeling; the warm, wonderful sense of peace.

What an inspiration they are to me and what a wonderful example they are for all of us!

Well- gonna close for tonight- just wanted to get some thoughts down. God Bless!

A "Hairy" Tale

Quite often I decide to do "something" with my hair- y'know- keep life interesting in little ways. I've been several shades of blonde-goldish-ashish-dark-bright-you name it- over that past several years. I usually go to Master Cuts where you can just walk in. The last time I really liked my hair was in Feb 2007- had it done at Pocatello Beauty School - haven't had same result since (see picture of Scooter & me). Several months later, I had it "trimmed" and highlighted at Penny's - DISASTER! They cut it way too short and the color turned out orange- not exactly what I was aiming for- it lightened up as it grew out thank heaven!

So-anyway- the end of May I had it done (at Master Cuts) and in order to even out the color the gal darkened it and then added hi-lights- it turned out darker than I've worn for a long time and at first I hated it! But then it kinda grew on me (ha ha-no pun intended!) and I decided that I liked it darker. Once again as it grew out it lightened up a bit but I still liked it- it looked more natural-Now- fast forward to a couple of days ago- I go into Master Cuts and tell them I want my hair done same as last time- maybe just a "bit" lighter- to keep the general shade I had but to freshen up the hi-lights- as is usually the case there, the gal that did it last time is gone but they supposedly have a card with all the info- so a different person does my hair. I am totally relaxed, enjoying my hair being done and visiting with this gal (she has an autistic daughter so we had a lot to chat about)- feeling pretty fine- then off comes the foil- I get shampooed & conditioned- get back to chair- off comes the towel- and !VOILLA!- I am blonde! Not just a "bit" lighter- not just light hi-lights- but really, really blonde! So-here it is- me with really blonde hair-

I'd really like some feedback- Do I keep it? or- as soon as I can- without frying my hair- do I go back to the darker look?

Can't wait to hear from some of you!

The Face of Autism

Jigsaw puzzle pieces have been used as a sort of symbol of Autism- perhaps to demonstrate that there are many faces or "pieces" of this disorder and that those who have Autism may have many or just one or two of the complicated characteristics or symptoms of Autism. In an earlier blog, I noted that Brooke Anne is Autistic- not the Autism of "today"- and I just wanted to clarify my thoughts and feelings in case anyone thought I was being mean spirited or thoughtless in any way.

We are learning more and more about Autism and it's many faces these days. In fact, the diagnosis now comes from what is called the "Autism Spectrum Disorder" which includes all kinds of sub-categories- Rhett's Syndrome, Fragile-X, and Aspergers Syndrome to name just a few. I am a strong advocate for education and learning all we can about this disorder and getting the necessary services, education and treatment for those afflicted. However, these days I find myself a little disconcerted- or rather concerned- if we are to believe the advertised statistics regarding not only Autism but other childhood disorders as well (ie: ADD, ADHD)- well, it seems that pretty much EVERY child must have some kind of disability or disorder of some kind. And I wonder - how do we balance finding a "diagnosis" to "help" our kids versus finding a "label" that "targets" them for less than adequate attention or education? If a child has mild symptoms or characteristics that may look like "something"- if they don't appear to fit our idea of "normal" or typical behavior-but they can otherwise achieve and succeed in a typical setting, do we slap a label on them? Or do we instead celebrate that each and every child is an individual with unique abilities- behaviors- characteristics- and concentrate instead on helping him/her achieve their individual best?

I'm not saying that we ignore those with limited capabilities- not at all! And I'm not saying that awareness is a bad thing- it is something that I have worked and fought for for more than two decades now. What I am saying is that sometimes- sometimes- kids are just kids- y'know with different levels of abilities and comprehension- with different behaviors and skills- and sometimes, for a child who is very mildly afflicted, a label that will follow them all through school and through their lives may be far more detrimental than them learning to work and achieve the best they can in spite of some difficulties.

Kids are amazing and they can learn so much with encouragement and in positive environments. It is important for parents- well for all of us- to recognize the needs of all children and to teach and work with them as individuals- those with significantly limited skills and those with minor limitations as well as those we call "normal"- each according to their own abilities. But perhaps- just perhaps- the real awareness comes in meeting the individual needs of them all and not so much in getting them a "label" that can be used as an excuse or crutch to allow a child to not reach their full potential. In a perfect world it would work both ways- I once believed that getting a diagnosis or "answer" meant getting the best possible services and education- I found it didn't work that way a lot of the time- the diagnosis or label worked against us in many ways- yet in our case, it was necessary- Brooke Anne is severely Autistic and her needs are great-but it is my prayer that kids who can succeed without the labels (with enough assistance from parents/teachers/families) won't have to go through life thinking they are somehow impaired or less than perfect.

To me this beautiful picture perfectly portrays the face of Autism- a puzzle of many pieces- but in spite of the bits and pieces that may be askew in the eyes of the world- this is the face of some of God's most precious children- and we have the honor and the awesome duty to provide them with a life full of love, acceptance, and as much happiness as they can find here.

To my daughter, and to our two grandkids- I pledge to keep up the fight and to do all I can to promote awareness and education!

Let's all reach out and help put those pieces together- for all our sakes!

A Baby....A Blessing....and a Handful!

This is our sweet Phoebe- Phoebe Joy O'Connor- born July 17 to Tim and Amanda (Amanda is Jim's youngest daughter). She has 2 older sisters, Eliza (5) and Evie (2). Three little golden haired princesses (at least I think Phoebe will also have golden hair- :) - she's a little sparse right now)

Yesterday (Sept. 7) was her blessing day. Amanda made her dress and bonnet-I just wish this picture showed how adorable it is. It's white (of course) with pale, peachy-pink ribbons sewn into the smocking & trim.

Her daddy, Tim, blessed her and it was a beautiful blessing. They are such a sweet family!

I look at our family - at all our kids and grandkids - and I see the promise of the future and our posterity and all it can and will be. Jim and I are both so pleased and so proud of how our kids are living their lives and raising their own children. There is a bounty of unconditional love and acceptance between all our kids and Jim and I. Although it is still my firm belief that families should do all they can to stay together-the way the Lord designed- we have been blessed in our particular situation and I thank Heavenly Father from the bottom of my heart for all He has blessed us with.

We were especially blessed this summer with two babies- just 6 days after Phoebe was born, Justin (Jim's youngest son) and Nikki had a baby boy- Tyler Davis Witt- born July 23rd- He will be blessed on the 21st.

At the church for Phoebe's blessing, Grampa was holding Tyler while another baby was being blessed. As we were all sitting there with our heads bowed, eyes closed- I hear this little "psssst!" from Jim. I look over and wow!- Ty had given Grampa a handful! He had what is affectionately called a total "blow-out" or rather in this case a "run-over"- Jim was holding Ty a little away from his body- dripping baby "stuff" from the back of Ty's bottom & down his legs- down Grampa's hand, arm, and clothes- down the front of the church seat and down onto the floor between Jim's legs! We were trying hard to maintain some semblence of reverence, but totally (quietly) cracking up at the same time. Needless to say- as soon as the blessing was finished, Nikki, Ty & Grampa made a quick exit to get things cleaned up!

Oh- the joys of grandparenting- they are abundant and often surprising. We take it all in and with the perspective of eternity and the perspective of our age (not that we are all that old, mind you) we are filled with such gratitude and such wonder.

I have decided that no matter what life hands you- if you look for the positive and lean on the Lord, you will always find blessings galore and good, wonderful reasons to be joyful and grateful! So, to all our kids and all our loved ones (friends and family)- thank you for bringing joy to us and for letting us share in your life journey! Take care & God bless!

Happy Birthday Gramma!

I was going to write yesterday but didn't get the chance- My Gramma Clark turned 99 on the 4th! WOW! Just had to acknowledge her again for the wonderful, amazing woman she is and always has been!

This picture was taken back in 1964 when my Gramma and Grampa went on their mission. I missed them so bad while they were gone- it seemed like forever to my 9-yr old heart. Every day I would kiss their picture and tell them I loved them and missed them. Then- heartbreak!- the first day they came home I missed them! I was staying out of town with another cousin.... I cried for days! When I finally got to see them it was like stepping back into that safe haven of love and peace that I always felt with them.

One of my favorite memories of Gramma- she worked as a nurse and would often stop by on her way home from work. For some reason I was fascinated with her watch and would sit with my ear against her wrist listening to the tick-tick-tick. She always had those big packages of gum in her purse and we all got a stick every visit! As I got older she encouraged me and supported me in my love of music. She paid for us girls to have piano lessons- I was the only one who stuck with it for at least as long as we had a piano (unfortunately only a few years). One Christmas she gave me an "extra" present- it was a metronome for my piano practicing. I felt so special- that little package meant the world to me. I gave my precious metronome to my precious angel- Heather! She plays the piano like I always wanted to- you can lose yourself in the music when Heather plays.

Anyway- I hope I grow up to be just like my Gramma! I hope to attain the same inner strength and peace, that glow of love and spirituality that she possesses! I have a long way to go!

I listen to the words of the Il Divo song- "Mama" and it expresses so much how I feel about my Mom and especially today- about my Gramma.

I am truly blessed to have come from such strong, wonderful women- to see them face the struggles and trials of their lives and to come out on top! To see them love and laugh and live life every day the best they can- that is how I want to be and hopefully the legacy I will leave to my own children!

Bye for now- and God Bless!

Brooke Anne- a celestial soul

Brooke Anne is the youngest of my four natural children. She is a beautiful, 25 year old, young lady who just happens to have Autism. I don't mean the Autism of today where every child/person who exhibits any characteristic or symptom or behavior of the "autism spectrum" may be called Autistic. She is severely Autistic.

She has very little verbal speech- only a few partial words- but she does understand most of what is being said to her. She uses a little, basic sign language to help communicate her basic wants/needs.

She doesn't read or write (that we know of) although she recognizes certain words, signs (K-Mart -where she loves to get icees) and given assistance she can put simple functional sentences and requests together on her communication book/board. Her overall behavior is sometimes that of a very young child and sometimes a very astute young lady. She doesn't have a lot of control over her emotions- she cries, yells, laughs, pouts, smiles- y'know- whatever she feels, she shows. She does have a hard time communicating - 'specially when she is hurting or scared or something. Those of us who are with her a lot can read her or understand her most of the time though.

She does have her own unique sense of humor- her own taste in music- her own preferences for toys or activities-even people. She is a delightful, funny, warm, and loving person. Once you are accepted and loved by Brooke Anne- it is forever! She doesn't forget the people or family who are a part of her life.

I have learned a lot over the years- raising and knowing her has been such a challenge- but, oh, the joy and the honor that has come with being her Mom. She has taught me the importance of so many things-and I have been blessed a thousand fold because of her. The deep, agonizing pain of sending her to a group home has never quite diminished, but the reward has been seeing her progress and accomplish more than she might have if she had not had that opportunity. Besides- she is loved there- and she is content.

There are many things that we all take for granted-simple things that hardly get a second thought. Talking- communicating- imagine not being able to express yourself so others can understand. Hearing-understanding- imagine not understanding the world around you- the confusion of noises-sights-people-smells- none of it really making sense in your brain. Holding down a job- basic functional skills/tasks- imagine taking years to learn basics of dressing/self-hygiene/using utenstils to eat/all the things we learn easily as toddlers took her years of special programs-education and still she struggles and has to have assistance with nearly every aspect of her life.

How blessed are we who are "normal"- with our senses, our capabilities, our limbs, our health- our intelligence...... need I go on?

But- oh how blessed are we who have a soul such as Brooke Anne in our family- in our midst! To

be in her presence is to be in the presence of a celestial soul. In the middle of a wild tantrum- in a moment of peace and quiet- there is always the knowledge and light of knowing who she really is and how close to the veil- to heaven and our Heavenly Father and Christ she is every single moment of her mortal journey.

I remember one Fast Sunday, years ago, she was about 7, we were all in church together-sitting on the back row in case we had to make a quick get-away :) - I challenged one of her brothers to go bear his testimony and added the little gibe- "do it for your sister, Brooke Anne"- well, he said to me, "No, why doesn't she bear her own testimony?"- instantly, the spirit moved me and I found myself walking up to the front to bear "Brooke's" testimony. I don't recall the exact words, but I do recall the feeling and assurance from the spirit that Brooke does indeed have a perfect testimony. I know that she knows why and how and where she is- yesterday-today-forever. And I know that she is perfectly at peace with what her mortal journey is. As I stood bearing this testimony for her, Brooke Anne stood up in the back of the chapel- smiling and watching me- surrounded by what I can only describe as the light and visage of Christ and her own celestial spirit. I wasn't the only one who saw that- a wife of one of the Bishop's counselors later shared with me that her husband saw it too. She had asked him why he was so emotional during my testimony and he told her about the light he saw encompassing Brooke Anne. I have had many other spiritual experiences and confirmation regarding my sweet little girl, including a very clear revelation in the temple of how and why she is here now and where she was in the pre-existence. I know that her "Autism" is a cloak of protection to keep her safe-she is a valiant soul and her place in the celestial kingdom is guaranteed.

I could write volumes about Brooke Anne- how she grew up in a wonderful neighborhood surrounded by love and acceptance - how we all learned to stand up for her and for what is right- how still to this day- my heart sings when she smiles at me and says "ma-ma"and gives me her special little hug & kiss- how she makes me feel strong and capable. I love her so much and I am so humbled and so grateful to have been blessed with her as my daughter. I thank Heavenly Father endlessly for entrusting this magnificent, beautiful celestial soul into my care- for trusting me to be her mother in this life and I can't wait to see her "whole and well" in the spirit world!

A Memorable Trip

Okay, so this past weekend I took a quick trip to southeast Idaho- Pocatello, Blackfoot, and Montpelier. Saturday we celebrated a grandson's birthday (Nash Lindsay-son of Donnie and Katie). It was a lot of fun- I can't wait to get moved back to Poky to be closer to all our kids all the time!

Sunday I went to Montpelier. I got to see my oldest brother (for once) and his two daughters.

I also got to visit with my Grandma Clark. She is 98- will be 99 on Sept. 4th! Isn't she beautiful?! She has been my rock- my safe haven- my hero-all my life. It was her and my Grandpa's encouragement and example that gave me the desire to be who I am- that enabled me to build the testimony I have and the faith that has carried me through so much tribulation. She is "The Wind Beneath My Wings"-

I then spent the night with my mom and dad. It was great- they had just gotten their temple recommends from their Bishop. I am so proud of them and so happy for them. They have set September 24th as the day they will go be sealed in the Logan, Utah temple. WOW! Imagine- they are 75 and 77 yrs old. Goes to show ya- it's never too late.

After leaving Bear Lake, I visited with Jim's mom and went with her to her doctor appointment on Tuesday- took her grocery shopping- and made sure all was well with her.

It was a busy trip- but so wonderful and memorable. I don't know how much more time I will have with my sweet Grandma- she says she's staying a little longer (as long as the Lord lets her) but she also says she knows there's a "real good place" for us after this life.

So with that I will close for now- God be with you all and remember to love as He loves and let the joy He promises us be in your heart and life.

Whoa!

Well- as usual, I have a little more to say. I just couldn't sign off today without also acknowledging my mom and dad. They are such amazing people. They, too, have faced a lot of adversity and trials in their lives and they are conquering all and landing right where I always knew they could be! In the past 6 years they have returned to full activity in the Church. It has been so wonderful to watch them each step of the way. When my dad was ordained an Elder in the priesthood, my son, Donnie had the honor to ordain him. Wow! What a day for all of us. Then a year later, he (my dad) was ordained a High Priest by his brother-in-law. My mom who fought tobacco addiction all my life (I don't remember a time she wasn't trying with all her might to quit) has now been over 2 years without a single smoke! As if this wasn't amazing enough- a couple of weeks ago my mom called to let me know they are going to the temple in September! I have wept buckets of joyful tears and gratitude since getting the news! I will be sealed to them!

My heart only wishes all my siblings could be part of this- but-who knows? The day may still come that each of them will turn this way too! In the meantime- I just love them all- 3 brothers and 3 sisters- with all my heart! Not only are they my siblings, they are my friends and their love and support through the years has meant so much!

Okay- so today I decided to try this blog thing out. With a lot of encouraging/urging from my beautiful daughter, Heather, here goes!

This life has been quite a journey so far. Lots of ups and lots of downs- but I am blessed to have a deep understanding and testimony and so I lean on the Lord for strength and courage when I need it and give thanks to Him for all I have and all I have experienced that has brought me to who I am and where I am now.

I sometimes feel I could write volumes on the trials I have faced through the years, but those who know me already know enough about that, and those who don't know me- well, just suffice it to say, I'd rather you know the good things in my life and perhaps along the way I will occasionally share some of the things I have faced and hopefully conquered!

For today, my first blog, I just want to acknowledge the love and support I have felt throughout my life from my Heavenly Father. I want to acknowledge the love and support of my wonderful, kind, loving best friend and husband. I want to acknowledge the love and support of my magnificent children. I have four- 2 boys, 2 girls. 2 married- 2 not. There were times in my life that I think only their love and the joy and honor of being their mom kept me going. And now, I have 8 fantastic grandkids with them. (With my husband's family I have 18 (that's right-18) more fantastic grandkids!) Seeing my children, the adults they have become, gives me such joy and such a sense of exactly what our eternal perspective and purpose is. In those dark hours, when the sadness or the regret of past trials tries to overtake my mind and heart, I think of my children- I call them or read their blogs, text messages, etc. and I am renewed. I turn to Heavenly Father in humble gratitude for being blessed with them in my life.

As I walk through this blog process, I will take time for each of my kids and write about them and their families. If I do it individually, then perhaps I will do them justice. For now- well- I guess this is a start, Heather! What do ya think?