OH WHAT JOY!

Owen Blake Toomer and Mary Joyce Lane
(my mom and dad)
Sealed for time and eternity Sept. 24, 2008
Logan, Utah temple
How do I describe what depths of joy we experienced last Wednesday? There are no words adequate- no articulation that can contain the singing in my heart. My mom- my daddy- made it to the temple! They were sealed for eternity and I am now sealed to them for eternity also!

They were accompanied by many ward members as well as myself (I was my mom's escort), my son Donnie (my dad's escort), and my daughter Heather and her hubby Mike (he was one of the witnesses). There were other family members - And- my Uncle George (my mom's brother) performed the sealing ceremony!
(As I said "Oh What Joy!")



I remember the first time I went to the temple- I didn't know the joy I felt then was just the beginning! I remember feeling the sweet assurance of the spirit that my parents would someday be sealed- but at that time I really thought it would only happen after they had passed!

What a journey we've all had! When I received that assurance my mom and dad weren't even married to each other- in fact my mom was married to someone else! Then, they remarried in 1980 (in my home!) to everyone's surprise. Who knew? Well- I guess the spirit had whispered these things to my spirit many years before, and this also fulfills one of the promises in my Patriarchal Blessing! These past 5-6 years watching them grow in the gospel- seeing Donnie ordain his Grandpa to be an elder- seeing my mom stretch and reach goals and overcome doubts that have plagued her for decades- being able to converse and actually "teach" my parents things I have longed to share with them- has taught me so much about the Lord and how He works and how He blesses us- always in His time and in His wisdom!

As a mom I have experienced the thrill and joy of seeing my two older children obtain their own temple blessings- I see them raising my grandbabies in homes filled with joy, light, and love! I see my younger son (Brady) on his own journey in life-finding what brings him joy and creating beautiful art and music all along the way. I see my baby, Brooke Anne-though she struggles in her mortality- her journey is bright and sure! I am truly blessed- and can only say again and again- "Oh What Joy!"

This experience has reminded me once again- that whenever we feel overwhelmed with sorrow or we feel life has dished out just too much for us to bear- Heavenly Father is always, always there and always mindful of us and if we do all we can to "hold to the rod", if we endure the trials we face seeking His love and guidance, all will be well- and we will know joy- not just momentary happiness and fun (and who doesn't love that?)- but the deep, abiding joy that fills our hearts and spirits even in our deepest times of trial.

As I said in the beginning- I really cannot find the words to adequately articulate all that I am feeling this week- know only that my heart and spirit are so full- my cup does indeed runneth over- and my prayers as always are with all! God Bless!

Pondering Life-

A few weeks ago our bishop challenged our ward to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year (by reading about 5 pages a day). I have found this time to be very interesting. I am finding new (or more) meanings in things I have read several times before- ways to apply the stories/lessons to my life now.

As I read the words of Nephi- feeling sad and chastising himself for his weaknesses- for falling into sin even with all his knowledge- I likened the words to myself and at first began to feel very frustrated and upset- then as I read further his words of recommitting himself to the work of the Lord and to living as he knew he should, I found myself making the same commitment-

I have also been reminded through this reading that "things" of the world are of such little importance in the eternal perspective. How easy it is to get caught up in wanting-getting-pursuing "things"- and forgetting that each day is a gift and that the most important things are the ones we love and love us!

I have gained more understanding of the prophet's words regarding the sanctity of family. Above all else- above all earthly pursuits and pleasures, is the duty we owe to maintain our families. I have felt weighed down through the years because of what I felt was my failure when my family fell apart- but I have been assured through the spirit that all is well- and to mind the stewardship I now have. What a blessing! Perhaps if I had not taken heed of the bishop's challenge these assurances wouldn't have come at this time.

I am so grateful for all our kids-grandkids-friends-family- we are so very blessed! Yes, we are facing some hard times right now- but only in a worldly sense- spiritually we are growing stronger and together we are standing firm.

In a few days I will have the awesome priveledge of seeing my parents go through the temple for the first time. They will be sealed to each other and I will be sealed to them. I can't begin to put into words the tremendous, overwhelming joy I am feeling; the warm, wonderful sense of peace.

What an inspiration they are to me and what a wonderful example they are for all of us!

Well- gonna close for tonight- just wanted to get some thoughts down. God Bless!

A "Hairy" Tale

Quite often I decide to do "something" with my hair- y'know- keep life interesting in little ways. I've been several shades of blonde-goldish-ashish-dark-bright-you name it- over that past several years. I usually go to Master Cuts where you can just walk in. The last time I really liked my hair was in Feb 2007- had it done at Pocatello Beauty School - haven't had same result since (see picture of Scooter & me). Several months later, I had it "trimmed" and highlighted at Penny's - DISASTER! They cut it way too short and the color turned out orange- not exactly what I was aiming for- it lightened up as it grew out thank heaven!

So-anyway- the end of May I had it done (at Master Cuts) and in order to even out the color the gal darkened it and then added hi-lights- it turned out darker than I've worn for a long time and at first I hated it! But then it kinda grew on me (ha ha-no pun intended!) and I decided that I liked it darker. Once again as it grew out it lightened up a bit but I still liked it- it looked more natural-Now- fast forward to a couple of days ago- I go into Master Cuts and tell them I want my hair done same as last time- maybe just a "bit" lighter- to keep the general shade I had but to freshen up the hi-lights- as is usually the case there, the gal that did it last time is gone but they supposedly have a card with all the info- so a different person does my hair. I am totally relaxed, enjoying my hair being done and visiting with this gal (she has an autistic daughter so we had a lot to chat about)- feeling pretty fine- then off comes the foil- I get shampooed & conditioned- get back to chair- off comes the towel- and !VOILLA!- I am blonde! Not just a "bit" lighter- not just light hi-lights- but really, really blonde! So-here it is- me with really blonde hair-

I'd really like some feedback- Do I keep it? or- as soon as I can- without frying my hair- do I go back to the darker look?

Can't wait to hear from some of you!

The Face of Autism

Jigsaw puzzle pieces have been used as a sort of symbol of Autism- perhaps to demonstrate that there are many faces or "pieces" of this disorder and that those who have Autism may have many or just one or two of the complicated characteristics or symptoms of Autism. In an earlier blog, I noted that Brooke Anne is Autistic- not the Autism of "today"- and I just wanted to clarify my thoughts and feelings in case anyone thought I was being mean spirited or thoughtless in any way.

We are learning more and more about Autism and it's many faces these days. In fact, the diagnosis now comes from what is called the "Autism Spectrum Disorder" which includes all kinds of sub-categories- Rhett's Syndrome, Fragile-X, and Aspergers Syndrome to name just a few. I am a strong advocate for education and learning all we can about this disorder and getting the necessary services, education and treatment for those afflicted. However, these days I find myself a little disconcerted- or rather concerned- if we are to believe the advertised statistics regarding not only Autism but other childhood disorders as well (ie: ADD, ADHD)- well, it seems that pretty much EVERY child must have some kind of disability or disorder of some kind. And I wonder - how do we balance finding a "diagnosis" to "help" our kids versus finding a "label" that "targets" them for less than adequate attention or education? If a child has mild symptoms or characteristics that may look like "something"- if they don't appear to fit our idea of "normal" or typical behavior-but they can otherwise achieve and succeed in a typical setting, do we slap a label on them? Or do we instead celebrate that each and every child is an individual with unique abilities- behaviors- characteristics- and concentrate instead on helping him/her achieve their individual best?

I'm not saying that we ignore those with limited capabilities- not at all! And I'm not saying that awareness is a bad thing- it is something that I have worked and fought for for more than two decades now. What I am saying is that sometimes- sometimes- kids are just kids- y'know with different levels of abilities and comprehension- with different behaviors and skills- and sometimes, for a child who is very mildly afflicted, a label that will follow them all through school and through their lives may be far more detrimental than them learning to work and achieve the best they can in spite of some difficulties.

Kids are amazing and they can learn so much with encouragement and in positive environments. It is important for parents- well for all of us- to recognize the needs of all children and to teach and work with them as individuals- those with significantly limited skills and those with minor limitations as well as those we call "normal"- each according to their own abilities. But perhaps- just perhaps- the real awareness comes in meeting the individual needs of them all and not so much in getting them a "label" that can be used as an excuse or crutch to allow a child to not reach their full potential. In a perfect world it would work both ways- I once believed that getting a diagnosis or "answer" meant getting the best possible services and education- I found it didn't work that way a lot of the time- the diagnosis or label worked against us in many ways- yet in our case, it was necessary- Brooke Anne is severely Autistic and her needs are great-but it is my prayer that kids who can succeed without the labels (with enough assistance from parents/teachers/families) won't have to go through life thinking they are somehow impaired or less than perfect.

To me this beautiful picture perfectly portrays the face of Autism- a puzzle of many pieces- but in spite of the bits and pieces that may be askew in the eyes of the world- this is the face of some of God's most precious children- and we have the honor and the awesome duty to provide them with a life full of love, acceptance, and as much happiness as they can find here.

To my daughter, and to our two grandkids- I pledge to keep up the fight and to do all I can to promote awareness and education!

Let's all reach out and help put those pieces together- for all our sakes!

A Baby....A Blessing....and a Handful!

This is our sweet Phoebe- Phoebe Joy O'Connor- born July 17 to Tim and Amanda (Amanda is Jim's youngest daughter). She has 2 older sisters, Eliza (5) and Evie (2). Three little golden haired princesses (at least I think Phoebe will also have golden hair- :) - she's a little sparse right now)

Yesterday (Sept. 7) was her blessing day. Amanda made her dress and bonnet-I just wish this picture showed how adorable it is. It's white (of course) with pale, peachy-pink ribbons sewn into the smocking & trim.

Her daddy, Tim, blessed her and it was a beautiful blessing. They are such a sweet family!

I look at our family - at all our kids and grandkids - and I see the promise of the future and our posterity and all it can and will be. Jim and I are both so pleased and so proud of how our kids are living their lives and raising their own children. There is a bounty of unconditional love and acceptance between all our kids and Jim and I. Although it is still my firm belief that families should do all they can to stay together-the way the Lord designed- we have been blessed in our particular situation and I thank Heavenly Father from the bottom of my heart for all He has blessed us with.

We were especially blessed this summer with two babies- just 6 days after Phoebe was born, Justin (Jim's youngest son) and Nikki had a baby boy- Tyler Davis Witt- born July 23rd- He will be blessed on the 21st.

At the church for Phoebe's blessing, Grampa was holding Tyler while another baby was being blessed. As we were all sitting there with our heads bowed, eyes closed- I hear this little "psssst!" from Jim. I look over and wow!- Ty had given Grampa a handful! He had what is affectionately called a total "blow-out" or rather in this case a "run-over"- Jim was holding Ty a little away from his body- dripping baby "stuff" from the back of Ty's bottom & down his legs- down Grampa's hand, arm, and clothes- down the front of the church seat and down onto the floor between Jim's legs! We were trying hard to maintain some semblence of reverence, but totally (quietly) cracking up at the same time. Needless to say- as soon as the blessing was finished, Nikki, Ty & Grampa made a quick exit to get things cleaned up!

Oh- the joys of grandparenting- they are abundant and often surprising. We take it all in and with the perspective of eternity and the perspective of our age (not that we are all that old, mind you) we are filled with such gratitude and such wonder.

I have decided that no matter what life hands you- if you look for the positive and lean on the Lord, you will always find blessings galore and good, wonderful reasons to be joyful and grateful! So, to all our kids and all our loved ones (friends and family)- thank you for bringing joy to us and for letting us share in your life journey! Take care & God bless!

Happy Birthday Gramma!

I was going to write yesterday but didn't get the chance- My Gramma Clark turned 99 on the 4th! WOW! Just had to acknowledge her again for the wonderful, amazing woman she is and always has been!

This picture was taken back in 1964 when my Gramma and Grampa went on their mission. I missed them so bad while they were gone- it seemed like forever to my 9-yr old heart. Every day I would kiss their picture and tell them I loved them and missed them. Then- heartbreak!- the first day they came home I missed them! I was staying out of town with another cousin.... I cried for days! When I finally got to see them it was like stepping back into that safe haven of love and peace that I always felt with them.

One of my favorite memories of Gramma- she worked as a nurse and would often stop by on her way home from work. For some reason I was fascinated with her watch and would sit with my ear against her wrist listening to the tick-tick-tick. She always had those big packages of gum in her purse and we all got a stick every visit! As I got older she encouraged me and supported me in my love of music. She paid for us girls to have piano lessons- I was the only one who stuck with it for at least as long as we had a piano (unfortunately only a few years). One Christmas she gave me an "extra" present- it was a metronome for my piano practicing. I felt so special- that little package meant the world to me. I gave my precious metronome to my precious angel- Heather! She plays the piano like I always wanted to- you can lose yourself in the music when Heather plays.

Anyway- I hope I grow up to be just like my Gramma! I hope to attain the same inner strength and peace, that glow of love and spirituality that she possesses! I have a long way to go!

I listen to the words of the Il Divo song- "Mama" and it expresses so much how I feel about my Mom and especially today- about my Gramma.

I am truly blessed to have come from such strong, wonderful women- to see them face the struggles and trials of their lives and to come out on top! To see them love and laugh and live life every day the best they can- that is how I want to be and hopefully the legacy I will leave to my own children!

Bye for now- and God Bless!