Brooke Anne- a celestial soul

Brooke Anne is the youngest of my four natural children. She is a beautiful, 25 year old, young lady who just happens to have Autism. I don't mean the Autism of today where every child/person who exhibits any characteristic or symptom or behavior of the "autism spectrum" may be called Autistic. She is severely Autistic.

She has very little verbal speech- only a few partial words- but she does understand most of what is being said to her. She uses a little, basic sign language to help communicate her basic wants/needs.

She doesn't read or write (that we know of) although she recognizes certain words, signs (K-Mart -where she loves to get icees) and given assistance she can put simple functional sentences and requests together on her communication book/board. Her overall behavior is sometimes that of a very young child and sometimes a very astute young lady. She doesn't have a lot of control over her emotions- she cries, yells, laughs, pouts, smiles- y'know- whatever she feels, she shows. She does have a hard time communicating - 'specially when she is hurting or scared or something. Those of us who are with her a lot can read her or understand her most of the time though.

She does have her own unique sense of humor- her own taste in music- her own preferences for toys or activities-even people. She is a delightful, funny, warm, and loving person. Once you are accepted and loved by Brooke Anne- it is forever! She doesn't forget the people or family who are a part of her life.

I have learned a lot over the years- raising and knowing her has been such a challenge- but, oh, the joy and the honor that has come with being her Mom. She has taught me the importance of so many things-and I have been blessed a thousand fold because of her. The deep, agonizing pain of sending her to a group home has never quite diminished, but the reward has been seeing her progress and accomplish more than she might have if she had not had that opportunity. Besides- she is loved there- and she is content.

There are many things that we all take for granted-simple things that hardly get a second thought. Talking- communicating- imagine not being able to express yourself so others can understand. Hearing-understanding- imagine not understanding the world around you- the confusion of noises-sights-people-smells- none of it really making sense in your brain. Holding down a job- basic functional skills/tasks- imagine taking years to learn basics of dressing/self-hygiene/using utenstils to eat/all the things we learn easily as toddlers took her years of special programs-education and still she struggles and has to have assistance with nearly every aspect of her life.

How blessed are we who are "normal"- with our senses, our capabilities, our limbs, our health- our intelligence...... need I go on?

But- oh how blessed are we who have a soul such as Brooke Anne in our family- in our midst! To

be in her presence is to be in the presence of a celestial soul. In the middle of a wild tantrum- in a moment of peace and quiet- there is always the knowledge and light of knowing who she really is and how close to the veil- to heaven and our Heavenly Father and Christ she is every single moment of her mortal journey.

I remember one Fast Sunday, years ago, she was about 7, we were all in church together-sitting on the back row in case we had to make a quick get-away :) - I challenged one of her brothers to go bear his testimony and added the little gibe- "do it for your sister, Brooke Anne"- well, he said to me, "No, why doesn't she bear her own testimony?"- instantly, the spirit moved me and I found myself walking up to the front to bear "Brooke's" testimony. I don't recall the exact words, but I do recall the feeling and assurance from the spirit that Brooke does indeed have a perfect testimony. I know that she knows why and how and where she is- yesterday-today-forever. And I know that she is perfectly at peace with what her mortal journey is. As I stood bearing this testimony for her, Brooke Anne stood up in the back of the chapel- smiling and watching me- surrounded by what I can only describe as the light and visage of Christ and her own celestial spirit. I wasn't the only one who saw that- a wife of one of the Bishop's counselors later shared with me that her husband saw it too. She had asked him why he was so emotional during my testimony and he told her about the light he saw encompassing Brooke Anne. I have had many other spiritual experiences and confirmation regarding my sweet little girl, including a very clear revelation in the temple of how and why she is here now and where she was in the pre-existence. I know that her "Autism" is a cloak of protection to keep her safe-she is a valiant soul and her place in the celestial kingdom is guaranteed.

I could write volumes about Brooke Anne- how she grew up in a wonderful neighborhood surrounded by love and acceptance - how we all learned to stand up for her and for what is right- how still to this day- my heart sings when she smiles at me and says "ma-ma"and gives me her special little hug & kiss- how she makes me feel strong and capable. I love her so much and I am so humbled and so grateful to have been blessed with her as my daughter. I thank Heavenly Father endlessly for entrusting this magnificent, beautiful celestial soul into my care- for trusting me to be her mother in this life and I can't wait to see her "whole and well" in the spirit world!