My Life In Pictures- July - September 2011

I've had quite an eventful summer.  My next trip after River was born was the weekend of the 4th of July.  First I went camping at Indian Springs with Donnie & Katie & the boys.  We had a blast!  We swam (of course) we watched bugs, and fish, and fireworks.  We had yummy food prepared by Donnie & Katie.  The first night there, Heather and the kids were there to swim and picnic with us too. I FORGOT to take pictures while she was there!  But I did get a few fun ones the next couple of days.  Following is a collage of just a few of the pictures.   

After leaving Indian Springs, I spent a couple of days at Heather's.  It was a lot of fun... Brady and Jade and River came over for a barbecue, then we all loaded up and went to see fireworks.  It was marvelous!  I like to think I am seriously patriotic and on the 4th, every year the fireworks just fill my soul with joy and celebration.  The grand finale each year- with inspiring music in the background- always brings me to tears.  

Brady and Jade are so cute with their little River girl.  And they are so happy to bring her around so family can love on her too!  It was great to be able to get pictures of River with Jim (his first time seeing her) and with Jim's mom- Gramma Esther as the kids call her.  She just loves having all the kids come and visit her.  We are blessed to have her in our lives.  Once I married Jim, she just took us into her heart and her home like we'd been family from the first. She is a wonderful woman. 

When Jim came down, we had the privilege of going to our granddaughter Eliza's baptism.  My camera batteries were almost dead so I didn't get  many pictures from there, but I did get this beautiful one of Eliza. She is so precious and dear to my heart.  I had the honor to be present at her birth and when she and her family lived here in Boise we were so close.  I love the time I have with Eliza and her family.  It is amazing how much love swells in our hearts for children that are ours through marriage.  I have truly been blessed. As you can see, there are pictures of Tanner and Tyler in this collage also.  Tanner and I have some truly outrageously fun together!  

This next collage is a collection of pictures of River with her cousins (and Uncle Donnie and Gramma). As you can see, she is very very loved!  I think as a family we are all absolutely thrilled that Brady has found this happiness in his life. We just love Jade to pieces- how could we not?  She is a delightful person and she has given happiness to Brady that had eluded him for quite a while.  

One of the highlights of every summer for me is the Toomer Reunions.  The big one is every other year, so on the off year we have just our immediate family.  This year was the big family- and although there were many missing, we still had aunts, uncles, cousins, and family from several states there.  It seems like our family (my mom & dad and all o'us) always have the biggest showing. Every one of my siblings were there!  All seven of us!  Sadly, many of our children didn't make it, but each of us had at least part of our family there.  Following the reunion in the park, a bunch of our family always goes out to the lake (Bear Lake) and we do have a TON OF FUN!!!   Sand, water, water fights, games, kids, grownups, we all just LOVE it!

On Sept. 11th the Boise Philharmonic Master Chorale, the choir I sing with, performed in a concert to commemorate the tragedy of the 9/11/2001 terrorist attacks on our country.  The concert didn't focus on the grief- rather on hope and growing and moving forward.  The music we performed was written and composed by a local man, Paul Aiken in 2005 in memory of that date.  It has been performed twice here and before I joined the choir, they even performed it at Carnegie Hall in New York.  It is amazing music,  The concert was free, but they collected donations for the Interfaith Sanctuary which provides food, clothing and shelter to the homeless and the donations came up to $4000.00!  Now they will be able to build some showers at the shelter.  I think that is just wonderful!  I love this choir and I love the challenge of singing classical music. 

Jim cannot do very much- he can hardly travel... but this year he has been slowly, steadily working on projects to improve our yard.  I am so proud of him,  (I have helped when I could, but my allergies are so bad I'm pretty useless on outdoor working).    So I've included a couple of collages of our yard.  It is not perfect, but it is a work in progress.... my favorite of course are the angels we have collected -feels like a bit of heaven.  This first collage is different shots of parts of the front yard.  Jim has almost finished the setting in the very front with the white rock, trees, and angels.   

This next one is different areas in the back.  There is actually a lot still to be done in the back, but again, Jim is working slowly but surely.  I think it helps him mentally and spiritually to get outside and work a little. He can only do about an hour at a time, then has to rest in bed for a while, but he is steadfast and things are looking better and better. 

Okay- when I first posted this blog, somehow the description of this collage was lost.  Very simply- amongst my pictures I downloaded I found these silly faces.... I thought it was funny that Donnie, Carter and I all had these goofy pictures along with the straight pictures.  Can't tell we're related can ya? 

Well- gonna call it a night for now... posted by a gramma who feels so loved and so very very blessed! 

Time- Gets Away From Us- And Is So Precious...

I have been such a lazy blogger this summer.  I got caught up in so much and yet so little and every week I tell myself  "I'm gonna post in my blog"- then I get sidetracked and don't get it done.  I do think I will start posting even when I don't necessarily have pictures or outstanding events or moments to post about. But to keep a running journal of my life at this time, have it printed each year, and perhaps someday my posterity will read it and gain some insight into where and who they came from and perhaps avoid some of the mistakes and hardships and at the same time share in the joy and triumphs.  I also want my children and posterity to know how very much I have loved and leaned on the Lord and my testimony.

    Right now is a particularly challenging time for us.  Jim and his daughters are going through some difficulties and he is very hurt and depressed.  I write about this because I think it is important for families to know how easy it is to get into conflict and how very little good comes from contention and spite.
     It all started because we heard a rumor that our son in law, Jeff (Genevieve's husband) was telling people that we don't treat Genevieve very well because she reminds us of her mother.  Well, we thought that was just so ridiculous- but knowing the source, predictable. Jeff is in many ways a very good person, but in many ways he sits in judgement on the people around him- whether family or  not.  If someone does not meet his expectations of what he thinks they should be, then he judges them harshly and has a real gift for verbal harranguement.  He claims to be close to the spirit and to be looking out for his family's best, but in our opinion, much as we love him, we fear he is off track much of the time-at least in this instance.
      Anyway- in response to this rumor (Jim and I each heard it from different sources)- rather than confront him negatively- I made a really poor choice and posted what I thought to be this innocuous comment on facebook (knowing that a lot of our children read my facebook):  "Heard a funny story the other day about a man and a woman who mistreat the man's daughter because she reminds them of his ex.... obviously whoever thinks this doesn't understand the all encompassing and unconditional love a parent has for their child... silly, silly minds...."    I did not mention names or even infer it was my own family I was talking about.
    After that post, several people posted simple comments such as "my son is the spitting image of his dad, yet my husband treats him like his own and loves him like his own...."   "my son even has developed a lot of the same mannerisms as his father, yet his stepfather and I love him"...  to which I commented:  Jim and I have a blended family and we love all our kids and grandkids"
      Well then Jeff decided to jump into the commentary and blasted me for airing family business in public (which my facebook is private- only friends and family can see it)-  to make a long story short, I removed the post, Jeff  then started sending private messages, but each time we tried to answer and make things better he got more and more heated.  I'm not very articulate nor eloquent, and I asked him why he was being so vehement and vicious (which made him even more angry)  He was quite abusive in his verbage and really ripped into Jim and I on all levels...claimed all Jim's kids feel the same way as he...   when we quit answering on private FB messages, he started sending private e-mails.  Ultimately it ended when Jim sent a message to Jeff (copied to all his children) calling Jeff on his lies and his manipulation of the truth. 
      At this point, Jim has had words with his younger daughter also.  I do not want to go into all that his daughters are saying or feeling, that is too private- but suffice it to say that Jim is hurt to the core and I believe they are hurting also.   The older daughter and her kids have been completely cut off from us per Jeff and I'm not sure where we stand with the younger daughter. I pray they both know how very much we love them and their children.

(I need to insert here that a lot of how Jim is reacting and feeling has also to do with the fact that one of his meds (a very important one for his mental/emotional well-being) has gotten too expensive and he has been without it now for a little over a month. Hopefully we can get this addressed within the next few weeks and even if the family situation hasn't changed, perhaps Jim can get some rest and feel some peace. I also think there are a lot of issues held over from his divorce that he never has addressed or faced. He basically let his children's mother say and do whatever she felt she had to as far as what the kids knew and didn't know. Ultimately, there is a lot of mis-information, some very ugly stories/half-truths/exaggerations that have been let go. I think his exwife is not a terrible person- I think she too tries her best- but divorce sometimes brings out the worst in people- and in her effort to appear in the right, she needed to paint him as a really bad guy. He is not perfect as none of us are- but he is an honorable and wonderful man. He loves his children, he loves me and my children, and he is faithful and strong in the gospel with a tremendous testimony.)
    I am sick at heart.  I have prayed and prayed.  I have had several counsels with my Bishop and I am following his advice.  He advised me to just let things be for now... he said we could choose to believe what Jeff says or not... (I choose not to- I choose not to believe any of our children would think or feel the things he claims about us)... Bishop went on to say all we can do is live the best we know how and trust in the Lord to bring things right.  We read some scriptures together which outlined the promises and the hope Heavenly Father has given us in situations like this.  I feel hope- I will continue praying and loving those daughters and their families and trust in the Lord to bring things right at some time.

      To end this blog, I want to post a quote that was on our church program a couple of Sundays ago that is so appropriate here:     Elder Marvin J. Ashton taught: "When others disagree with our stand, we should not argue, retaliate in kind, or contend with them....Ours is to explain our position through reason, friendly persuasion, and accurate facts.  Ours is to stand firm and unyielding on the moral issues of the day and the eternal principles of the gospel, but to contend with no man or organization.  Contention builds walls and puts up barriers.  Love opens doors....Contention never was and never will be an ally of progress"  (conference report Apr. 1978 or May Ensign May, 1978)

I close now with a prayer for peaceful resolution in my family and for the safety, health and happiness of all our children and grandchildren as well as our extended family.