Sunday, March 15, 2009

My Mom

Today I am thinking about my mom-and what an incredible, complex, amazing woman she is. She is in my thoughts always, but more so today because she is in the hospital. She has been sick for a few weeks now and had multiple tests with more to come. I am worried-to put it bluntly!
I love her so much and have seen her come so far and overcome so much in her life!
I decided to write a little about her here, as a reminder and legacy not only for myself, but for my children and grandchildren and whoever else reads my blog- I am happy to share this with all of you!

First of all- she is 75 years old-will be 76 this summer. She is a tiny little thing-a little under 5' and a little under 100 lbs. First amazing fact: she had a twin that was stillborn a couple of months before she was born-even then she was a toughie and hung on to dear life! She is the youngest of three- her older sister passed away at the age of 47 due to diabetes complications in 1977 or 78... Aunt Delsa was a beautiful woman also. She also has an older brother living in Montpelier-Uncle George. Her mom-my amazing Gramma Clark-is still living (99 yrs old) in Montpelier also. I do not want to digress into a long life history so I will skip now to some most memorable moments with or about my mom.

Growing up in our home was kinda tough- mom was rather unpredictable- but I remember always wanting to make her happy. From a very young age I sensed that she had a lot of sadness in her and I wanted to take it away. She could be very angry or upset one moment and then suddenly make you feel like you were her best friend. There were times I felt safe, loved and protected by her.... times when it really mattered. She was hard on us at times, but she was fiercely protective and did all she could to teach us right from wrong-common sense-and respect and dignity for others. I am so grateful for her firm teachings-she was adament that we never, ever treat anyone bad or make fun of anyone no matter who they were and especially if they were "different" or disabled in any way.

I remember as a little girl thinking my mom was just so beautiful. I found some pictures of her (professional type) and I was sure she had been a movie star. I even told some of my friends that- hee hee. I always looked at her hands and thought they were so pretty. Her nails were always perfect and her hands were so dainty and ladylike. Yet she was a hard worker. She baked bread every week, cared for our garden, chickens, rabbits and orchard as well as our home. She could outhunt and outfish almost anyone-man or woman. We were quite poor, but we always had warm food. She made a lot of our clothes and liked to dress my sisters and me alike for special occasions. There wasn't anything she couldn't sew once she put her mind to it.

One of my favorite memories is her making me a fairy costume for Halloween when I was in first grade. We would have our Halloween parties at school after lunch. We always walked home for lunch and that day was soooooooo exciting for me. Running home-getting dressed up-walking back to school feeling like the most beautiful little fairy in the world! She even made a sparkly, star wand and a little crown...

I remember when I was 11 years old and was talking with some friends about our moms and their ages and "stuff"... well, I felt like my mom was really, really old (she was a whopping 33) because she was older than the other moms.... but then, I smugly thought to myself-she's prettier than all the other moms! And more fun! She could have so much fun just playing with us and it seemed like my friends' moms were always too "grown-up" to play. In fact, my mom (and dad) are still full of fun and play as you can see in the picture above!

When I made choices in my life that were not so great-sure mom got really mad and upset. We had some terrific blowouts... but when those choices got me into trouble or broke my heart (and hers I'm sure) she was there to help put the pieces back together with no lasting grudges or judgements.... just love, acceptance and comfort.

We were not active in the church as I was growing up... we kinda hit and miss at Primary and Sunday School. Occasionally mom taught a class or lead the music and then we'd all go for a while. She even did scouts for a few years. But she always tried to teach us that the church and choosing the gospel was the right way to go. And she rejoiced with us as we achieved and progressed in our spiritual lives. Now-at 75- she has come full circle and is fully active and as I blogged last fall, she and my dad have been sealed in the temple.

The relationship my mom has had with my children has been a source of much joy and happiness for all of us. My kids LOVE their Granny! I have always been very close to my own Gramma and to see my kids have that with my mom has been - well- "totally awesome!" Actually, the feelings are so deep it is hard to put into words.... but I thank Heavenly Father every day for the love my kids and my parents share.

My mom is not and has not been perfect- heaven knows neither am I- but I do believe she has always done the best she possibly could throughout her life's experiences and circumstances. She has endured trials and hardships hard to imagine for a lot of people- some because of her own choices, and some just because that's life- but ultimately her strong spirit has triumphed and brought her to this amazing place she is in right now- spiritually happy and right with herself and her Heavenly Father- emotionally happy and loved by her husband, children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great grandchildren, friends..... and so many others! She (and my dad) are such good examples to all of us that it is never too late and you are never too old to make choices and changes that bring you closer to Heavenly Father and to the gospel.
I love my mom!- 'nuff said!


My mom and her mom!



Daddy, mom & me








Posted with love and gratitude!

4 comments:

Katie said...

She is an amazing lady and I love to be around her and grandpa. I hope that everything will be okay. They have come such a long ways. We will pray for them.

Jen said...

What a beautiful post about your mom!!! She is in my prayers! Love you!

Heather said...

I love my granny! I have the best grandma in the world! I'm going to my room to cry now! No, really, she is so very special to me, I am honored to be hers.

steph said...

Oh Roxanne! This was absolutely beautiful! I loved reading your stories and getting to know you mom better! It is so difficult when they are having health problems getting older! You are all in my thoughts and prayers! Take it a day at a time and cherish all the special moments you have together!